Friday, March 23, 2018

Siblings

What is the hardest part of being a mum in this life I've been given

Seeing the affects it has on siblings
They take a back seat, they are pushed a side as your stressed dealing with an autie or 3

Mam, can you help me with my homework, nope not right now, your sister is spilling and smearing her food or drink (or poo, which ever)  all over the place

Mom, I wanna bake something, not a chance in hell, your brother is in shit form and loosing his head in temper, watch he doesn't hit ya, stay out of his way

Can we go to the cinema? with what money, you know how much i paid out on help with the auties this month,  I'm shit broke
Or
can't, no respite this week
Or
Sorry, no sleep had, too dangerous to drive today
Or
No babysitter

Can we go on holiday?
No buddy, no can do, we still paying off the money we borrowed to kit out the sensory room and extension
A weekend away then?
Hmmm can't, need to save all the respite up for easter and Christmas holidays

Can we watch a DVD?
We have to wait till the Auties are in bed and asleep
The auties never sleep
Or
We watch the DVD but it's paused at least 10 times to check on the auties

Can we go out for a nice meal?
No guys, the auties are like possessed demons today, can't bare trying to eat dinner over the crying

Even important things like flag day in school, school plays, or soccer matches,  boxing tournaments,  some days maybe one of us can attend but never two of us, and at times neither of us

Siblings also have to grow up faster as they take on responsibility at such a young age
Helping prepare dinner, cleaning, playing with an autie so you can make dinner, or sitting with an autie just so you can go to the toilet, an autie must be supervised at all times
They haven't the luxury of acting like a typical kid, tantrums and hissy fit will not be tolerated, selfish behavior cannot be tolerated

They witness things their peers never will
A child well over the age of nappy wearing still wearing a nappy, a child smearing poo or peeing where they sit/stand, a naked body running about the house, they witness their parents or themselves being attacked and hurt by their frustrated and overwhelmed autie sibling, they see their mother break down in tears after a phone call about their sibling
They witness their parents being attacked by their sibling while driving and yes they get scared, very very scared
They see their sibling's therapists in their home  more times than they see their relatives there

Never underestimate the life of a spenial needs child's sibling, never take for granted that they are doing OK, never assume they are not hurting on the inside, never think they are happy and content

Always go out of your way to make an autie sibling feel spoit at times, always tell them you appreciate their kindness and patience with their autie sibling and always say thank you for any help they give to you, always make a day, activity or even just for them, always reassure them you love them and tell them how special they are

Siblings are amazing, cherish, love and respect them

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