Sunday, May 31, 2015

4 seasons in one day,and that includes the weather

April 2015 
Holiday to Portugal, M&Em dx with autism and ID

May 2015
Oh what a month it has been.  Appointment hell, sickness hell, weather hell and financial hell

I’m finding it a very financially tough month, money is literarily in one hand and out the other and I’m still on the back foot playing catch up since my much needed holiday.

 I am also consumed with appointments this month.  I have L’s peads and my ct scan on the same day in a county a half hour drive away.  I have L’s psychiatric assessment this month (an hr and half drive away), my own app to see consultant for this fibro shite, R has a dental app and a eye app to have his eye patched due to a very bad turn in left eye, we also found out last month that he is partially blind in his left eye.  K has had 2 apps also.

We have had the vomiting bug in the house for 3 weeks now and I’m exhausted. G had a massive allergic reaction to what we assume to be horse hair, his hands blistered like bubble wrap and burst leaving open wounds bleeding on his hands, with this came a massive asthma attack, the poor guy was in so much pain and yet he’s battling through loading washing machines, dryers, dish washers, hovering floors etc, I feel so sorry for him as he’s in so much pain, than wham the vomiting bug lands to us ALL.  M has also been to the GP this month with a mystery illness, he keeps holding his right ear yet dr cannot find anything in it, possibly just a sensory thing. He also had a sugar drop episode after his vomiting bug and was weak with high temp with that charming keytones smell; he shifted from near lifeless to hyper after sugary drinks.  I brought him to gp and she was like, he’s fine, send him to crèche, he might as well be jumping on their tables as to jumping on yours (he has a serious climbing issue) so I did.  I got a call from crèche a few hours later to take him home after a mysterious rash developed after a fit of temper that disappeared again within minutes; the child is a bag of weird at times. I took him home and again hyper as hell than all of a sudden flat and weak.  I thought at one point I was going to end up in A&E but we held off and he seems ok since. 

 M was to have an app for his dodgy toe, again an hr and half’s drive away and I was to be there at silly o clock.  I’m just too tired for it.  I cancel it, oh I’m guilt ridden but just cannot bare it.  He has a weird overlapping toe thing, now in my heart I know I should go, but I also know there is nothing they can do, it does not affect him in any way and I’m near sure it will sort itself out eventually.  I ask advice on face book, this toe thing is quite common apparently and low and behold nothing can be done and you end up with several appointments just to be told this in long run.  I take M off the app list; I just have no time for unnecessary appointments.  Isn’t it terrible though that you have to cancel appointments as they not a priority over all the others.  It’s exhausting trying to prioritise and make all the appointments you have with each different child.  The guilt doesn’t help much either. 

Just as we think we might have an easier week end, the first in 3 weeks, Ryli puked at 4am.  Here we go again, oh can this month just end already, we are so tired and I really cannot see any more shit and puke, the clothes washing, floor mopping, bed clothes changing and showering children is endless.  We are now officially into our 4th week of sick children and sick us. 

L went to see peads, in the 1 and a half hr wait we had to hide a plant and a bin that was over stimulating L, we where exhausted from him bolting up and down the corridor, at one point he found food in the canteen and G just let him sit and eat it as G was just so pissed off and fed up running.  They know L can not tolerate waiting rooms, small children, noise, busy bright fast moving environments, and we had it all including another child pissed off waiting in complete melt down. What JOY and dangerous territory for L.  Oh boy did I miss D but couldn’t bring him as my app shortly after L’s.  Finally they see L.  They very happy with the difference respiradone is making to L, he now needs bloods and he has his psych app next week. 

My ct scan was quick and painless, thank god, went home with migraine and feeling sick, I continued on this way all night and most of the next day.

My Consultant app: well M there is nothing we can do about the pain you’re in.  You can’t tolerate even the lowest dose of Pain meds so we actually can’t recommend any, you have fibro and it’s causing you great stress and pain but the best I can offer is paunston as we know you can tolerate them.  My biggest issues are stress attacking my body and as my stress is life long I just got to get through it.  Yep knew that already, consultant gutted as he really wants to help but cant.  Just my life and the shit that comes with it, you just got to laugh really, but apparently I’ve little chance of dying of a heart attack as that’s the one part of me in great shape lol.  Yay, a positive.

I ‘m starting to pull my hair out again, my scalp hurts so bad as im picking chunks out of it, grrrrr I’m trying so hard to stop but the damage is done as I don’t realise I do it till I see the blood on my fingers, ah yes, stress, stress stress and more stress. 

PS I still hate teens

I have a lot of other stuff going on in the background but sure who hasn’t.  I’m feeling the stress but keep thinking June might just be my month, but I think this about every month so I really should just know better by now, but one can hope. I feel like May has been a misery from day 1, weather is shit, vomiting bug and other ailments plagued us for 4 weeks solid, M is a tantrum throwing little bollix, sorry but sometimes you just need to say it as it is.  E is uber clingy and needy that she’s sometimes just painful, K’s social life can be hard to keep up with and than usual teen stuff that drives you to want to be an alcoholic but than you don’t have the energy to put the effort into becoming one, ok sarcasm but yea you do wonder at times.  After school activities are just painful as your so tired your ready for bed by 6 but that’s when all their clubs start, dancing, football, boxing, guitar yada yada.  You put your healthy eating and exercising plan in place, but you never get it started yet the pounds just pile on and your clothes get tighter.  I still have a week left of this month and I’m already looking for survival tactics to get me through this last week.

I had money owed to me since April, this money used to come after the 16th of every month and that was hard enough to handle, now it comes after the 23rd of every month, its financially killing me as it’s a lot of money that I pay out weekly on in home, I get some (not all) of it back in a monthly cheque, since G finished work we took a huge (almost 3 grand a month) financial hit.  It’s so hard trying to make it through till that cheque arrives, than you have to lodge the bastard and it takes 3 working days to clear, cheque usually arrives on a poxy Friday like.  FFS it’s starting to push me to the brink and I end up arguing with the service provider almost every month, and my consultant says I need to avoid stress haha yep.  You feel like your begging at times, your not, this service is provided as there are little other services on offer, it’s a huge help but now its becoming a financial burden that its almost not worth having this service.  Your stuck as you can’t afford it yet you need it, they offer some of the money back but it puts you under serious financial strain waiting for the money that you land yourself with further problems.  You just cannot win in this life.  I finally got the cheque but the stress involved that day of getting it, I’m surprised I’m still standing.

Just one more week left of this shitty month, one more week

We made it, I survived this shitty month.  Last app done, L had his psychiatry app, we brought D and both where good as gold.  They are happy to leave L on respiradone and put him on a trial of phenergan to help with sleep.  They where so impressed with the dramatic changes in L. 

So the dog decided that he too needed some extra attention this week and decided to choke on a biscuit he robbed off the floor when M flung it.  OMG seriously, there he was gagging and coughing gasping for breath, I had to Heimlich him and slap his chest hard to get the biscuit out, thankfully it came out but he was looking a little shocked after so emergency dash to the vet.  He got 3 shots (was due his booster and flee/worm anyway) and an antimilitary for his troubles and his anal glands squeezed.  Never a dull moment in this nut house

This last week I’ve walked and jogged 29.9k and although I ache I’m enjoying it.  I’ve also lived on 1200 calories a day for the last week and I’ve lost 2lb so at least that’s kept me sane slightly. 

Oh please June be good to us

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